My dumbass decided that February was the time to emphasize self-discipline and make my life harder in various ways. One of those ways was eating the carnivore diet for the entirety of the month. If you aren’t familiar with the carnivore diet, you only eat animal products. No fruits, no veggies, nada. I was literally the opposite of a vegan.
DIET
My diet consisted of chicken breasts, sausages, bison steaks, ground beef, ground venison, ground elk, a variety of jerkies, beef liver (once), eggs, and Greek yogurt with honey to curb my sweet tooth at night. During work, I would eat some form of smoked and dried meats to hold me over until I got off. When I got home, I’d make a large meal, typically consuming around a pound of fresh meat with over-easy eggs. To ensure I wasn’t missing out on key nutrients, I supplemented with 5000 IUs of Vitamin D, 25mg of zinc, 250mg of Vitamin C, and turmeric mixed into my tea. I would always take my supplements after a meal high in fat for better absorption and less digestive stress. On an average day, I’d eat two 3.5 ounce bags of jerky, two large meals each consisting of 1-1.5lbs of cooked meat, two eggs, and two cups of Greek yogurt with a tablespoon of raw honey for dessert. Sounds like a lot right? Wrong.
ENERGY
The first week was brutal, plagued by hunger pangs. Without my precious pastas, snack bars, and other filler carbs, I felt like my tank was on ‘E’ at every turn. Daily exercise burned off a lot of what I ate, leaving me hungry all the time. By the third week I had lost 15lbs, dropping from 195 to 180. Keep in mind I have a pretty rapid metabolism so I can gain and lose weight with relatively minimal effort. However, the absence of simple and complex sugars in my gut alleviated the afternoon lull that often follows lunch. Notably, my energy levels were quite steady in contrast to my typical ebbs and flows.
EXERCISE
When it comes to exercise, certain workouts were much easier than others. Running was the easiest by far; all it took was placing one foot in front of the other and ignoring the urge to slow down or stop. Lifting weights was the direct opposite. If I was trying to pick up anything more than 275lbs, it felt like every ounce of power I had expired after three sets. Muscular fatigue was much more apparent during weightlifting than any other form of exercise. Kettlebell work and plyometrics were good happy-mediums between weightlifting and running, offering the heart rate of intense cardio with the muscular fatigue of a light lifting session. By far, the best form of exercise was Jiu Jitsu. Rapid weight loss made me lighter and more explosive while my residual strength still rendered me dangerous.
POOPING
I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about pooping. When the only fiber in your diet is muscle fiber, your gut goes through some serious changes. For some context, I usually poop once a day, maybe once every other day. The first three days were odd as I didn’t poop at all. I guessed the lack of fiber might have made me constipated, but day four proved otherwise. On the fourth day, I should’ve been worried about the U.S. Government kicking in my door because I may as well have struck oil. When I sat upon the glorious white throne, my ass erupted in a jet stream painting the toilet blackish brown. Nearly all of my poops were like this, sometimes three or four times a day. Adding insult to injury, farts could no longer be trusted. Honestly, I would have shit my pants on three different occasions if it weren’t for the jungle that is my asscrack.
SLEEP
When I first started, sleeping was hard. I would go to bed hungry and wake up starving. It took me two weeks to time my meals around work, exercise, and bed so that I wouldn’t be tossing and turning dreaming of ice cream and cookie dough. Once I started eating dinner or dessert within an hour and a half of my bedtime, I was golden. I slept pretty solid throughout the night and had a mix of incredibly vivid dreams and total nothingness. I noticed that sleep felt more restorative than usual too.
ATTITUDE
I was hangry almost every day during the first week. Had I not made it a point to practice mindfulness and meditation, I believe I’d still be hangry now. Once I got familiar with being in a constant state of discomfort, I got over the internal angst and acknowledged it. I also noticed that I felt more primal. All the animal proteins and fats made me feel like a true carnivore. Combining that sensation with sparring and Jiu Jitsu made me feel more aggressive, borderline animalistic. That kind of behavior brought forth intense drive and minimal patience.
Overall, there is no way in hell I’m doing the carnivore diet again. This kind of eating isn’t sustainable for my lifestyle or comprehensive health. I know that when I return to my beloved carbs on March 1st, much of the weight lost will be gained back. I’m proud of myself to have tried my hand at it and maintained my diet while traveling to visit friends and family. I’ve stared at plates loaded with temptation and willed myself against discomfort. This wasn’t for weight loss or health, it was an experiment in self-discipline. I am in no way, shape, or form a nutritional expert, but I advise you heed my warning with this anecdotal experience. If you want to try the carnivore diet, do your research and get your nutrition in order. Otherwise, don’t do it at all.
Read my mind. 